(Photo by Loverna Journey)
“When things go bad, don’t go with them.”
Living is a messy business and we all want to excel at it. We want to do everything to make ourselves as successful, healthy and happy as the people we come across on our magazine covers or Instagram feeds.
I also belong to this race. I am in a constant battle to make my personal,social, professional, and social media life as exciting as possible. Just like everyone else, I also want good grades, perform well at work, be the life of a party, eat chocolates cookies day in day out and never put on weight.
I want to be connected to the world and at the same time, I want to be in touch with my soul. I want to know what happens in Game of Thrones Season 8 and I want to read Rumi poems too. I want all my relationships to be smooth and my parents to be happy. I want to be on time, eat on time and yes, get 8 hours of sleep every night.
Just like everyone, motivated by quotes and videos I started making a check on all these things. And I came across the obvious fact that it cannot be done.
Perhaps I didn’t do my best, I didn’t try hard enough, or I am not cut for it. But I tried, I exhausted myself and I miserably failed.
Though I was thriving in some areas I soon realized I wasn’t happy. All the constant activity was draining me. I didn’t feel like talking to people anymore. New issues popped up with every new task I undertook. Trying to build a perfect looking life is a lot of hard work.
Worst of all, I became bitter. I was so filled with loathing for my own self. Questions haunted me every night. Why couldn’t I do what so many people can do? Why was I so lazy, undisciplined and uninspired? Every night intensified the anger. Like Macbeth, sleep eluded me too.
I still tried to catch up, read articles on how to make everything in my little world better, took some actions and yet I was there failing at saving everything, be it my work or my relationships.
One day I just decided to sit down, pour myself a cup of coffee and watch.
Yes. You read that right. Instead of trying to come up with a reaction for everything that was going on in my life, I just let things be as they were. I realized I didn’t need to prove myself to anybody. I just distanced myself from things and that is the best thing that happened to me in a while.
“Life is all about balance. You don’t always need to be getting stuff done. Sometimes it’s perfectly okay, and absolutely necessary, to shut down, kick back, and do nothing.”
I know distance is scary. Your parents want to know what you have eaten. Your boss wants to know what you did in the day. You can’t just break ties, pack your bags, go to a peaceful land where no one knows you and start a new life. ( Plus who has that much money? Even our one day trips are planned with the budget in mind). But I adopted distance in my life with open arms.
Everything that stressed me or gave me trouble, I let some distance grow between us. I didn’t work on projects which drained me. I spend less time with people with whom I couldn’t solve my issues with, no matter how much I tried.
And it helped. We sometimes forget how oversaturated we get with things. Some distance gives us a breathing space. Yes. Because when all the things are bringing you down, don’t you feel like you can’t breath? I do. Distance allowed me to enjoy my own sacred space. It let me see things from a whole new perspective. And I learned a few important lessons.
1. We are allowed to breath. If things get too crowded, we can get out, go to a distance and breath.
2. Some things won’t work ever. There are some relationships and projects that we keep holding on to in hope, in desperation. We need to let them go. Atleast for a while.
3. Sleep cures everything. If there is one thing that I learned from this roller coaster experience is that we humans need to sleep. It improves your mood, your health, your skin, everything.
Respect yourself enough to say, ” I deserve peace,” and walk away from people and things that prevent you from attaining it.
But I am still very much a part of the race. Because whom are we kidding? It is the presence of these goals which makes our lives worth living for, which makes our eyes shine bright.
Also I am no brand new person. I just learned the hard way that some calls are best not made and people you love more will never let you win an argument.
On that note, do tell me how you feel about it. Do you like to give a project some distance when it doesn’t work? Do you also need a breathing space when it gets too hard? Or what are your special tricks and tips to deal with our world’s increasing demands?
Do let me know in the comments. I sure could use some help.
Adios till then! Sleep well, walk away from things that bring you down, and never argue with your sister. That stunt can land you into big trouble.